The Past is Never the Past
by MichelleRae
Summary: Formerly known as The Past Doesn't Stay in the Past. Six years later and fresh out of college. Bella heads back to Forks to remember. But she doesn't expect a visitor. Especially this visitor.
1. Chapter 1

**Here it is! I've had so many of you PM me asking to bring this back. Well, wait no more. But, do give me time to edit it and send it to my beta Sassy Mami. Editing this will give me time to come up with more for my other stories. If you find any mistakes please let us know!**

**Disclaimer: I own nada. I just like to play with them. ;)**

**Without further ado, enjoy and as always review!**

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You would think after the hellacious 6 years I've had, I wouldn't be this damn happy. So, why am I happy? I am finally Dr. Isabella Swan, Md., PhD. Yep that's right. I'm a doctor now with a Psychology degree on the side. At least one good thing came out of me being with Edward. I wanted to make Carlisle proud. Don't know if Alice is watching or not but if he found out; which I hope he did, I hope he was proud of me. Edward? I can careless. After he ruined my life by leaving me in that forest he didn't deserve a place in my mind, not even in the back of it!

I'm proud to say that I actually got over him. It was a year later though. I had a "WTF?" moment. I was just hanging out with Jacob and we were talking about it and it was like a light bulb went off in my head. Here I was; one year later, pining over someone that wasn't coming back. I needed to get my life back. I ranted and raved for a good hour and Jacob looked at me like I'd hung the moon.

Ahh Jacob, he's my anchor. I'd be dead if it wasn't for him and the pack, literally. Good ole' Laurent came back. But I'll save that story for later.

I decided to come back to Forks after I graduated. I haven't been back since Charlie died. I still have the house, so here I am. I wanted to relax before I went back to New York to start at the hospital.

I got a blanket, my sketch book, and some books along with food, water and a radio. I laid the blanket out and sat on it. It was a rare sunny day in Forks and I was going to enjoy it.

I had been out here for about 2 hours before I decided I should go and try to find me something to eat. I was standing up and folding the blanket when I felt that familiar feeling. I felt like I was being watched and the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up. I had a Vampire near me. I didn't know whether I should make it known that I knew they were there or not. Me being a danger magnet and all, it may be a nomad that needs a snack. I decided to ignore it. If they really wanted me, I think they would have already come up on me. I turned around but didn't see anything.

I got the blanket and everything else and went inside. Even though I was alone I still cooked so I decided that I would make some Lasagna, garlic bread and a salad. A lot for me I know, but it's my favorite.

I was just getting ready to take the Lasagna out the oven when there was a knock at the door. I paused trying to figure out who besides Jake knew I was here. He would have called or just barged in the door like he owned the place.

I went to answer it and was totally shocked at who stood before me. It took a few minutes for my brain to come up with a reaction.

"How the hell are you alive?"

That's a good enough reaction right?


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the delay. Real life tends to be a buttface. Glad to know that ya'll are happy I have brought this back! I'm also bringing another story back. But just like this one, I have no idea what the updating schedule will be. You'll just have to put me on alert!**

**~MichelleRae**

**Disclaimer: As always I own nothing. **

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He just stood there and smirked at me. His golden eyes full of amusement. That also surprised me. His eyes, they weren't red anymore.

I started to shake and backed up. Eyeing him warily.

"Don't worry Bella; I'm not here to hurt you." James said.

I moved out the way of the door to let him in. "Come in then, I guess." I told him, wondering if I was making a big mistake.

It was at this time I remembered the Lasagna. "Shit" I exclaimed as I ran into the kitchen. I went to the oven and then took it out. Luckily it didn't burn. I added the garlic bread and then turned around to look at my random guest that was slowly approaching.

I took a deep breath. "Ok. You're not here to kill me, you're eyes are gold, and as I asked earlier; how the hell are you alive?"

"It's a long story actually. Why don't you eat first and after that I'll tell you. Just know that I'm not here to hurt you or kill you or anything else. I've changed. I promise." He said looking sincere.

I watched him for a few minutes before I turned and took the bread out of the oven. "I'd offer you dinner or something but I'm fresh out of deer at the moment." I told him trying to joke.

I guess it worked because he laughed and it made me smile.

"It's quite alright. I went hunting before I came to see you." He told me with a smile.

I nodded and started making my plate and then sat at the table. I motioned for him to join me and he did.

I cleared my throat. "Just in case you're wondering, the Cullen's aren't here anymore. They left 6 years ago." I told him while getting up to get me a glass of milk.

"Yeah I noticed that, where are they?" He asked. Later adding "If you don't mind me asking." after he noticed my body stiffen.

"I actually don't know." I told him walking back to my seat.

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Let me finish my dinner and I'll tell you what's been going on with me the past 6 years." I told him.

He nodded. At that time my cell rang. I growled under my breath as I went to answer it. Clearly showing I didn't want to talk to who was calling. James chuckled. I turned and glared at him.

"Hello?" I answered. Nobody answered.

"Hello?" I repeated with annoyance in my voice. "Look I don't have the time or patience to deal with shit heads like you so call back when you find your voice." Still nobody answered but I heard a scream and nothing. I dropped my phone and just looked at it. James was at my side at this time.

"Who was it?" He asked, of course he heard it. Stupid vampire hearing.

"I-I don't know." I stuttered. "Nobody would say anything and then someone screamed and the call disconnected."

He picked up my phone and looked at the number. "It's unknown." He stated. He looked at me with concern in his eyes. "You ok?" He asked me.

"I'm just a little shook up but yeah, that's not the first call I've gotten like that though. I had one last month like that. But it wasn't a scream it was just someone laughing maniacally." I told him, walking back in the kitchen.

"If they call again with the same unknown number, you mind if I answer it?" He asked me.

I shook my head and began to clean the kitchen. Afterwards I made me a glass of coke and went in the living room where he was still standing. I motioned for him to follow me outside and he followed. We sat on the porch swing and I looked over at him.

"So, who first? Want me to tell my story or you want to tell me yours?" I asked him.

"You can go first, if I can guess, you probably haven't been able to talk to anyone about it without getting put in a padded cell." He answered. I chuckled.

"You're kinda right. Do you know anything about the guys at La Push?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Well; Jacob, he's one of the wolves, he's like a brother to me. He helped pick me up and I was able to talk to him, not about everything though." I told him.

I took a deep breath considering I haven't talked about this in 6 years. "I haven't really talked about this in 6 years so bear with me please. " I told him. I looked at him and he nodded. I took another deep breath. "On my 18th birthday, Alice decided to throw me a birthday party. I was totally against it. But, she insisted. Along with Edward. She had a 3 tier cake and everything. Why a coven of Vampires would have a cake, don't ask me. Anyways, I was opening my gifts and I got a paper cut. Jasper; being the empath and the one that was newest to their lifestyle, tried to lunge at me. Edward pushed me into the glass table that had all the glass plates on it and I sliced my arm open. Carlisle had to stitch up my arm." I showed him the scar on my arm from where I was cut.

James looked thoughtful. "Jasper was an empath you say. So, he didn't just feel his bloodlust did he?"

I smiled a little. "That's what I'm thinking. See, they never let him come around me. But I know that with me being Edwards singer, that Jasper had to of not only felt his but everyone besides Carlisle. Especially Edwards. That's why I didn't get upset about it. Plus, I should have been more careful."

"Bella, you can't blame yourself for being human. It's not like you meant to give yourself a paper cut. They know that." He told me.

I turned and smiled at him. "Thanks." I sighed. "Anyways, the days after my party; Edward was distant. He didn't talk unless he was spoken to and he hardly came over here. The third day I was tired of it. I was going to sit down with him and tell him that there was nothing to be upset about. He beat me to it. I got home from school that day and he asked me to take a walk. He led me to those woods" I pointed across the street. "He told me that I was no good for him, he didn't love me and that he was tired of pretending to be something he wasn't. He said that my mind was a sieve that I would easily forget him, then he told me that they were leaving and that it would be like he never existed. He kissed me on the forehead and left me in the woods. I tried to follow him. But me being the klutz I was back then I tripped and just laid on the forest floor. I was out there for seven hours before someone from the rez found me." I took a chance and looked over at James. He looked livid. "I was a zombie the months that followed that day. I lived. That's it. I slept, cooked for Charlie, went to school, worked, and then did the same thing all over again. If it wasn't for Jacob I'd be dead. Literally. He helped piece my heart back together. Not fully though, it still hurts. Then, you're buddy Laurent had to pay me a visit."

"What?" He asked me surprised.

I looked at him and nodded. "Yep, he said that he owed Victoria a favor. Victoria wanted revenge. Mate for a mate he said. He said that since Edward had killed you Victoria wanted me dead."

He got up and started pacing. "That bitch! I was never her mate Bella. She only wished that I was." He told me. "Where's Laurent now?" He asked.

"Dead." I told him. He just looked at me.

"I was out trying to find the meadow that Edward had taken me to when he came up to me. That was the first day I seen the wolves. Laurent went to lunge for me and 5 wolves came out of the forest and took care of him."

"I never thought he would have come back for you. He had said that he was going to that other family in Alaska." James said.

"He did, but then Victoria called him and asked him a favor." I told him.

"Hmm. So Victoria is still around then?" He said.

"Oh yeah, believe me, she makes herself known." I told him. He looked at me then and sat back down. Looking concerned.

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**I know it says a Bella/Jasper pairing. I promise it will be ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**So, this chapter my be a wee bit long lol. I somehow combined chapters when I was writing this awhile back and I couldn't figure out where one stopped and the other begun. So you have extra reading lol. The end of the chapter is just a filler. I didn't know where to go as far as an ending so I chose that. Anyways, happy reading!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine!**

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"What did she do Bella?" He asked me.

I stood up and leaned against the railing and looked out into the forest. Wrapping my arms around myself and I felt the tears begin. "She killed my father James." I told him. I took a ragged breath. "I was away at med school. It was my 4th year. I got a phone call from my dad's best friend Billy. He's Jacob's dad. She had come looking for me. Not knowing I was in New York. My dad had a similar scent as me. She came here. He was asleep in the living room when she came in according to Billy. She tortured him. Billy said that nearly every bone was broken and then she drained him dry before putting some of his blood all over the house. I'm surprised I can still live here knowing that but it's all I have left of him." By this point I was on the steps sobbing and rocking back and forth. "She's still after me. She just can't find me. I don't stay here. I go back to New York in 3 weeks to start my job. Hopefully she'll not be able to find me there. "

James had at some point sat down next to me and pulled me into his lap. He was rocking us and running his hand soothingly through my hair.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I knew she was vindictive but I didn't know she was this cruel. I won't let her get to you." He told me.

"She's a sneaky bitch" I told him, earning a humorless laugh. I continued, "The pack had a hard time keeping up with her. I was so pissed at them that I went off on them and made them dissolve the treaty. Because of that damn treaty she got my dad."

I straightened up in his lap and cleared my throat. "So, yeah, after my dad I haven't heard a peep from her. I just graduated Med school and have a job lined up at Bellevue in New York. That's me the past 6 years." I told him.

We sat there in comfortable silence for a few minutes before my cell went off again. James let me go and helped me stand up. I walked into the living room and picked it up. It wasn't unknown but I didn't know the number either.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Bella?" A voice I never thought I'd hear again asked.

"A-Alice?" I stuttered.

"Hi Bella, I know what Edward told you but I just had to call you."

"What do you want Alice?" I asked rather harshly. James raised an eyebrow at me. I just shrugged and went to sit on the couch. He followed.

"I just wanted to say congratulations. I seen you graduate. Carlisle is so proud as well. You should be getting a letter from him in the mail tomorrow. He'd like to keep in touch with you. Edward isn't with the family anymore so he won't know." She told me.

I started to get tears in my eyes when she said that Carlisle was proud. That's all I wanted from them since I no longer had Charlie.

"Thank you Alice." I said and sniffled. "I'm going to have to think about the whole keeping in touch thing though. It's been six years, why now Alice?"

"The time wasn't right." She answered. Of course!(hint sarcasm)

"That's bullshit and you know it." I told her. James put his hand on my knee. And surprisingly it calmed me.

"We didn't want to interfere with your life. We didn't think you wanted us to. I wanted to call today because I was so happy for you. I'll let you go for now, I know who's with you. Give him a chance." Then the line went dead.

I just sat there for a good 10 minutes looking at my phone. I looked at James and he was watching me carefully.

"It's so weird that you come back in my life today and she calls me. Although, with Alice anything is possible." I told him.

He held his hands up in surrender. "I had nothing to do with it." He said.

I laughed. "I know. I was just saying."

He smiled and then cleared his throat. "You up for my story or have you had enough for today?"

I looked at the clock and noticed that it was only a little after nine. "I'm up for it. Just let me go get in some PJ's and I'll be back." I told him.

He nodded.

I ran upstairs to my room. I put on a pair of my white PJ pants and a purple tank top and then put my hair up in a messy bun. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, then tried to wash my face to make it look like I haven't been crying all day.

After I was done I made my way back down stairs. James was standing up looking out the window looking like he was deep in thought. I decided to go to the kitchen and make myself another glass of coke. I just stood there for a few minutes drinking; trying to think about all that happened in just a short time today.

I don't know how long I stood there lost in my own thoughts when I felt James but a finger under my chin. I looked up into his concerned eyes.

"You alright?" He asked.

I just smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm just thinking about stuff." I told him.

I led him back into the living room and we sat on the couch. I hugged my knees to my chest laying my head on them and just waited for him to start.

"You remember the ballet studio incident right?" He asked.

I raised an eyebrow. "No I got amnesia" I said sarcastically earning a glare. I laughed. "Yeah I remember it." I told him.

"Edward wasn't the one that supposedly killed me. It was Jasper and that big guy."

"Emmett." I told him.

He nodded. "They didn't burn my parts. They just spread them around and caught the building on fire. After you all got out of there, it started to rain so the flames were out before it made it to my parts. They were all black so to a human it just looked like part of the structure of the building. It took me 4 weeks to get myself back together. Then another year for me to be strong enough to do anything."

I sat there stunned. Edward had lied to me. He told me that he made sure himself that James couldn't make himself get back together. He said that he threw his head in the flames himself.

"He lied to me." I whispered while staring at the coffee table. _Coffee table, thy name is idiot._

"What did he tell you?" James asked me.

I looked over at him. "He said that he made sure that you wouldn't be able to get back together and that he threw your head in the flames himself."

He just shook his head. I motioned for him to continue.

"I don't want to have you get mad at me but I've sort of been watching over you these past few years. I've known you were in New York but I didn't know what you were going to school for."

I should have been pissed but I wasn't I was more stunned then anything. He was watching over me? I guess I can see why I always felt like I was being watched.

"You know, I should be pissed about that. But, I'm not. I've had a feeling that someone has been watching me for the past few years. I just figured it was either one of the Cullens or a nomad or something. I'm a danger magnet I wouldn't have bet against anything it being a nomad." I told him chuckling.

I looked over at him and seen him smiling. "Why though?" I asked.

He sighed. "Believe it or not, I hate myself for what I put you through. When I was piecing back together I had a lot of time to think. I hated myself. I hated that I let the hunter in me take control of my life. Or unlife whatever I have. So, I vowed to myself that I'd watch over you and make sure nobody else would hurt you and then when I was up for it I'd make myself known to you. I became protective of you. I didn't know about Victoria though. I wasn't even in New York when that happened or I would have come to you then and been there for you and took care of her. I started hunting animals and came to like it. It was hard at first. But I've come to like it. Bear is my favorite though" He told me.

I laughed at him "Emmett would like that, he loves bears. He used to tell me that he liked to make them mad. He was mauled by a bear, Rosalie and Carlisle found him."

I took a breath and looked over at him. "Why do you feel protective of me? Why didn't you just forget about me and move on?" I asked.

"I wanted to see if you would forgive me, to get to know you and see if we could be friends." He answered.

I looked at him for a few minutes. "I'm not going to forgive you and then have you try to kill me tomorrow am I?" I asked with a smirk.

He laughed. "No Bella. I think if I wanted to kill you I would have already." He told me.

I sighed and looked away. "Ok. I forgave you a long time ago actually." I told him. He smiled. "It was your nature to hunt me. So, I couldn't hold that against you."

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees and looked at me and smiled.

"You're peculiar Bella Swan. You hung around with a coven of Vampires and your friends with Werewolves. Now you're becoming my friend when I almost killed you."

I just shrugged as I got up to walk to the kitchen. "I've always said that I'm not a normal human."

He laughed out loud at that. I just smiled.

I rinsed my glass out and put it in the dishwasher. I was exhausted.

I sighed and turned around to walk back into the living room but stopped. James was standing against the door jam.

"I guess I should probably go, I can tell you're exhausted." He told me.

I yawned at that point. "Yeah, it's been emotional for me." I replied.

"Alright, have a good night. And, thanks for today." He told me.

I smiled. "I should thank you to. I haven't really talked to anyone in 6 years about everything, so I feel like I have a weight lifted off my shoulders now. I can't really tell people that my dad was killed by a vampire. They think that he was stabbed." I told him. "So thanks."

"You're welcome. You want me to come by tomorrow or do you want a day for yourself?" He asked me.

"You can come over if you want. I don't know what time I'm getting up though." I told him.

He nodded. "It's ok, I'll be able to tell if you're moving around." He said.

"Stupid vampire hearing." I grumbled.

He just laughed.

It was now the last week I was supposed to be here. James and I hung out often. I was actually going to miss him when I went back to New York. We haven't really been talking about it so I don't know what he's going to do.

It's Thursday night and we're supposed to watch movies. I just got back from the grocery store and am making myself some dinner. I just decided on grilled cheese and tomato soup. Can't go wrong with that. I was just about to sit down when someone knocked on the door. I sighed and went to get it. I told James to just walk in. So, I don't know who it is.

"Jacob?"

"Hey Bells. I know you're supposed to hang out with that other leech tonight" I grimaced at the nickname" Sorry, James. But I wanted to warn you."

"Warn me about what?" I asked him.

"We've caught Victoria's scent in the area." He told me.

I started to hyperventilate. She's finally found me.

"D-Does she know I'm h-here?" I asked him.

"I don't know, her scent has come close to here though. When is James supposed to come over?"

"I'm right here."

I turned and seen James coming up next to Jake. He took one look at me and took me in his arms.

"What happened?" He demanded.

Jake answered because I couldn't.

"We caught Victoria's scent in the area. I wanted to come warn the two of you." He said.

James tightened his arms around me and placed a kiss on the top of my head. Somehow over the weeks we grew close.

"Where?" James asked.

"Mostly near where the Cullen's stayed but she got close to here to. She has to know that Bell's is here. I don't know about you since you have no scent." Jake replied.

James loosened his arms and looked down at me. "Bells, I'm going to go with Jake and see if I can track her. Go inside and lock the doors. I know she can still get through it but humor me. I have my cell. If you think she may be near, you call me. I don't care if you just think you see something. Call me."

"Okay. Please be careful." I said hugging tightly around the waist. I looked at Jake "Both of you." I added.

Jake just smiled. "You know me Bell's"

"Yeah I know, that's why I said it."

He and James just chuckled.

"Go inside. I'll be back." James said, kissing my head. Then he took off.

I walked inside and locked the doors and went to the living room. I just sat there a few minutes and then decided to read. Not that I'd be able to concentrate. I picked up my old and battered copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ and decided to get lost in the romance.

I was only reading for 20 minutes when there was a knock at the door. I didn't know if it was James so I waited. They knocked again.

"It's James Bells."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and walked to the door.

"Did you find anything?" I asked as he walked in.

He shook his head. "No." He looked at me and paused. "Any chance you'd want to go to New York tonight? You already have an apartment there right?" He asked.

I had actually thought about this while I was trying to read earlier.

I sighed. "Yeah I guess I can. What about you?"

He smirked. "Can't get rid of me that easily. I have a place in New York. I won't be far from where you work." He told me.

I took a deep breath. "Ok, let me get my things and order tickets and I guess we can go. You're leaving tonight to right? Or is it just me?" I asked.

He looked at me for a few minutes. "You go ahead. I'm going to stick around here for a day or two to see if I can get her. Then I'll come to you. I'll call you the whole time I'm here." He said when he noticed the look on my face.

"What if she follows me James?"

"I don't think she will. I'll be with you the whole time to the airport so I'll know." He told me while taking me in his arms.

"Ok, I'll go get my stuff together." I said.

I kissed him on the cheek and the made my way toward the stairs. That was the first time I've done that so I didn't want to see his face to see how he reacted. Yeah, we've gotten closer lately but that's just hugging and him kissing me on the head or me leaning my head on his shoulder.

I went up to my room and started packing my suitcases. I didn't really bring a lot with me. After I was done with that I went into the bathroom and packed up my toiletries. Since I had been here I haven't been in my dads room. I decided to go in there. I walked to the door and hesitated. I put my hand on the door handle and stood there. I turned the handle and pushed the door open. It was still the same as I remembered.

I walked in and looked at his dresser. There was a picture of the two of us on a fishing trip. I picked it up and traced his face. I didn't realize I was crying until a tear fell on the glass of the frame. I fell to the ground as a sob escaped me. I sat there on the floor and leaned back up against the bed.

"Bells?"

I looked up and seen James at the door.

"I never told him I loved him enough. We never really said that to each other. We were just two people living together mostly. He didn't like to show emotion. The only time he really did was when I got a full ride to Weill Cornell Medical School. I was his pride and joy then. I just wish I had shown him and told him how much I loved him. I wish I had been a better daughter." I said.

At this point I was sobbing. "Why? Why did she have to kill him? Why couldn't she find me and take me instead. He never asked for this."

James came and pulled me into his lap. I sobbed into his shoulder. He started to run his hand through my hair soothingly.

"He knew Bella. You didn't have to tell him or show him. He knew. It was probably the best thing ever when you moved here with him. You took care of him. You were the best daughter you could be."

I leaned back and looked at the picture again. I kissed his face and hugged it to my chest and looked up at James.

"Thanks, I needed that. I haven't really cried over him being gone." I told him.

"Anytime. You don't have to ask or thank me." He said smiling.

I stood up and put the picture back, noticing his badge next to it. I decided that I would take that with me. So I'd have a piece of him in New York.

"I have all my things packed so I'm good to go. I'll go order my ticket." I told James.

"Ok. I never asked. What kind of doctor are you?"

"I went to school to study Cardiology but I'm also an E.R. doctor along with being a psychologist. I have my own office at the hospital for Psych appointments and Cardiology appointments. I'm also second in command I guess you can say in the E.R." I told him.

"Wow, Miss smarty pants." He said laughing.

I laughed along with him.

"I'm proud of you. You've come far. You didn't let anything deter you from your goal." He told me.

"Thanks that means a lot. When Alice told me that Carlisle was proud of me I wanted to cry. Since Charlie is no longer here I wanted him to be proud. He was always like another father to me. "

We sat there in silence for a little while before I decided to go back down stairs. I turned on my laptop and started to order my tickets. As soon as they were ordered I made sure to go around the house and make sure everything was taken care of. I was about to go get my bags when I seen James coming down with them.

"Thanks, I could have got them." I told him.

He just shrugged. "It's ok, I decided to do it."

We walked outside so we could put them in my truck. My old truck finally died 2 years ago so I had to get a new car. I now have a 2010 Chevy Silverado Hybrid. It was my baby. When I got my inheritance from my dad I bought it for myself as a gift.

James but them in the back and then turned to me. He had a look in his face I couldn't quite figure out.

"You ready?" He asked.

I sighed and looked back at the house. "Yeah I guess I am." I told him.

I handed him my keys and he got in the drivers seat while I got in the passenger seat. We had decided that he'd drive it back to New York for me.

For awhile it was silent. I could see James look at me every now and then. I was just lost in my thoughts. I was looking out the window when I felt his hand on my knee. I looked over at him.

"You alright?" He asked. "You're awfully quiet."

"Yeah I'm fine, just lost in thought." I told him.

He nodded and squeezed my knee before removing his hand.

"You mind if I hook my iPod up?" I asked him.

"No, go ahead. I was actually about to turn the radio on." He replied.

I grabbed my purse and got my iPod out and hooked it up. I went through my list before I found the song that I wanted. I decided on listening to The Rolling Stones.

_Button your lip baby  
Button your coat  
Let's go out dancing  
Go for the throat  
Let's bury the hatchet  
Wipe out the past  
Make love together  
Stay on the path _

James looked over at me. "Good choice. The Rolling Stones rock." He told me with a smile.

I giggled. "Yeah, they're awesome."

You're not the only one  
With mixed emotions  
You're not the only ship  
Adrift on this ocean

This coming and going  
Is driving me nuts  
This to-ing and fro-ing  
Is hurting my guts  
So get off the fence  
It's creasing your butt  
Life is a party  
Let's get out and strut

You're not the only one  
That's feeling lonesome  
You're not the only one  
With mixed emotions

You're not the only one  
You're not the only one  
You're not the only one  
You're not the only one

Let's grab the world  
By the scruff of the neck  
And drink it down deeply  
Let's love it to death  
So button your lip  
And button your coat  
Let's go out dancing  
Let's rock 'n' roll

You're not the only one  
With mixed emotions  
You're not the only ship

_Adrift on this ocean  
You're not the only one  
That's feeling lonesome  
You're not the only one  
With mixed emotions_

"What else do you have on there?" James asked me.

"I have a lot. I don't really take any off when I add more. I also have many different play lists that go with the mood I'm in." I told him.

"What kind of mood are you in now?" He asked with a smirk.

"I really don't know." I told him.

He just raised an eyebrow at me. By now we were almost into Seattle.

I was getting ready to say something when a familiar song came on. One that I sang while in college for a benefit concert. I was getting ready to turn it when James stopped me.

"I actually like this song."He told me.

I nodded. "I sang this song in college at a benefit concert." I told him.

"Really? Will you sing it for me?" He asked.

I sighed. "Yeah I guess. I'm not that great though." I told him.

He just winked and said "Let me be the judge."

I just sighed and started to sing with the song.

_I've heard there was a secret chord  
David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
It goes like this  
The fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall, the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
She tied you To a kitchen chair  
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
_

_Baby I have been here before  
I've seen this room, I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew you.  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
Love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know  
What's really going on below  
But now you never show it to me, do you?  
And remember when I moved in you  
The holy dove was moving too  
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

_Well, maybe there is a God above,  
But all that I've ever learned from love  
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you.  
It's not a cry that you hear at night,  
And it is not somebody who has seen the light  
It's a cold and it is a broken Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

_Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah_

It was silent after that.

* * *

**Hoped you liked it. Like I said up top, the end was just a filler. See any mistakes? Let me know! All mistakes are mine!**


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